Deployments Tips
Read these 104 Deployments Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Military tips and hundreds of other topics.
Keep In Touch
Write lots of letters and be creative! The deployed person wants to know as much detail of your days as possible, though do try to keep whining and complaining to a minimum. Send lots of care packages! Once again be creative! Send anything from baked goods, video tapes, to quirky souveinirs that have no meaning but to the two of you.
Not-so Obvious Additions to Care Packages
Some of the more not-so-obvious additions may include: a childs school work, sewing kit, supplies, special coffees, a childs art, report cards,
music, taped TV shows, games, special teas, home movies and little gifts or trinkets.
Check List
Print out a Pre-Deployment Checklist for discussing what you need to take care of BEFORE the deployment begins. Planning ahead can prevent partners at home from feeling they have to handle it all alone and service members from worrying about things left undone.
Verify DEERS enrollment
Verify DEERS enrollment so family members can receive needed medical care in the absence of the service member. Call 1-800-538-9552 to confirm enrollment.
Home Insurance
Review your homeowner's or renter's insurance policies before your sailor deploys and make any necessary updates / changes to your policy if need be before his departure.
A Day In Pictures
Take a whole day in pictures then encase them in a photo album, write the letter on slips of paper to include in the margins describing what is happening in the photos.
Auto Paperwork
Before the deployment make sure you check the expiration dates for all automobile requirements such as license plates, base stickers, city stickers, insurance, and state inspections.
Letter Writing
You should number your letters and emails so there is no confusion of which to read first or so that your sailor would realize if some were missing or didn't make it to the ship.
Get Things Fixed
Be sure to make a list of all the things that need to be fixed and done before the separation. Get the cars working, make sure the washer and dryer are working. Do any maintenance around the house that needs to be attended to. Makes it a little easier for the spouses who remain at home.
Junk Food Frenzy
Sometimes when you are away from home you miss the little things without even realizing it. Why not send your sailor a pure junk food care package. Include those snacks that they buy at their favorite store or can only find at a particular place.
The next time you are at the grocery store pick up a few of the following items: Favorite 4 candy bars, energy bars, powdered drink mix, crackers, magazines, gum, snack food (dry salami or canned ham) and of course, a copy of their favorite picture of you!
Getting Out of the House
While your sailor is gone get out of the house at least once every two weeks. If you have kids hire a sitter and go out and get some down time. Go out for dinner with friends, shopping, to the library ... just spend some time with your thoughts. But be sure to take the time when you need it.
Financial Papers
Will you need a power of attorney for either purchasing or selling property, filing taxes, or endorsing checks? Make arrangements before the deployment to acquire a special power of attorney for such things if need be.
Last Will and Testament
Visit the base legal office to have wills drawn up for you and your spouse. This may seem like a particularly difficult thing to do, but you will want to take control instead of letting the courts decide for you.
Home Security
Before your spouse leaves for deployment, give your home a security check inside and out. This should include testing (or installing) smoke alarms, and checking door and window locks, as well as outdoor lights or motion detectors (if you have them).
Power of Attorney
Decide whether or not you need a power of attorney. This is a legal designation by an individual for a person to execute certain duties on behalf of the service member in his/her absence.
Giving Orders
Be patient with your spouse. They may be in the habit of giving orders. Reestablishing the communication pattern you had a couple may take a little practice.
Dollar Store Bargains
When it comes to putting together Care Packages nothing beats the dollar bargain stores. You can find a lot of "toys" and goodies to send and get a great box going for just a few dollars.
This is a great place to buy packing supplies (tape, filler, small sized boxes (perfect for care packages).
Picture Pillow
Use available programs to print an image of yourself onto a t-shirt transfer for a pillow case for your spouse to take during deployments and patrols, makes the nights alone a little easier. You may want to make one for yourself as well!!
Updated Information
Check the pages of your service record to make sure the information is correct. An incorrect address or phone number can delay quick response in an emergency.
Spend Time Together
Make the time to have some family time before the separation. Go on a picnic, or go camping or just spend the day at home as a family. Make sure you take time for yourself as a couple too! Have a romantic evening, just the two of you. This helps when you are feeling down during the separation, to remember the fun you had and will have when they return!
Size of Package
A good basic size of care package is a shoe box. There isn't much space on the ship to store things and if you send a huge box of goodies it may have to wait to be sent for a while if it takes to much space to send out to the ship ... so keep it small. You can always send 2 out at a time or 1 a month however you want.
Communicate
Be sure to keep those COMMUNICATION lines open before your spouse leaves, during their absence and after they return. Let them know what you are feeling and how you are feeling!
Auto Repair
Before the deployment or patrol make sure your vehicles are in good repair. Find out from your Sailor where to have the car repaired and when to have routine maintenance completed while you are deployed.
Emergency Plans
Set up a plan for emergency care for family members before the situation arises. This will be one less worry for you if an emergency should happen. It is unlikely a service member will be able to return immediately (or at all) in case of an emergency.
Wills / POA
Base legal can draw up documents such as wills and power of attorney for free. Check with you command to find out if legal will be coming to the ship to prepare wills for service members.
Children and Deployments
Your sailors command can arrange through Family Service Center counseling and training to provide children with familiarization and coping skills. This is done aboard the ship. Usually divided into age appropriate groups and includes a tour so the children can see where their deployed parent will sleep, work etc. Check with your OMB for more information.
Holiday Care Packages - 4th of July
Everyone loves a party and even when our sailors are away you can include them in the fun of holidays by sending along a few "toys" ... for Independence Day why not send:
Party Poppers, those wonderful little plastic cups that spray confetti when you pull the string.
Silly String, Always a favorite. This is an aerosol can so please be careful when shipping. Ask your local post office for any special handling instructions.
Kazoos, This may sound silly but you'd be surprised what small things can entertain people when they are away from home.
Water Guns, Definitely a "must" for the summer. Especially the small ones that can easily be hidden in the utility pockets of cammies. Be sure to send a small arsenal (5+) so that everyone can get in on the fun.
Use Full Address
When writing, always use the complete military address. With so many personnel onboard, it is easy to find two sailors with the same name. Address your letters as follows:
Rate/Rank Full Name
Division
Ships Address
Special POA
Some parents like to have a special medical power of attorney drafted for a neighbor, grandparents and/or child care providers. For example, these individuals would be authorized to take action in the event of an emergency should the parents be unavailable.
Vehicle Paperwork
Keep track of when automotive registration, insurance, emissions inspections, or oil changes are due. Take care of as much as possible before your sailor leaves.
Seperate Checking
Consider opening separate checking accounts to ease confusion over who is writing checks and when they are written.
Cards and letters
Before your sailor deploys, plant loving cards in unusual places so they will be discovered over time. Leave a love note in the bottom of his sea bag, or slip on in the pocket of his shower kit, write a poem or a love letter and print it on transfer paper and iron it onto his pillow case.
Lipstick Kisses
Send kisses to your sailor by putting a lipstick imprint of your lips on a card and lamentate that so they can keep with them.
Important Phone Numbers
Gather a list of important numbers you may need before the deployment. Housing, electric company, chaplain, Ombudsman, ships arrival line. Make sure that you have everything you need before he leaves.
Emotions
Emotions ranging from fear, anger and abandonment, through to excitement, hope, satisfaction and relief, may arise during the separation period. Individuals will vary in the kind and strength of their feelings. However, it is important to accept that separation is an emotive issue, and experiencing a variety of emotions during this time is completely normal. Talk about them. Other personnel who are deploying, may experience similar feelings.
Don't Go Away Mad
A lot of the time before a long deployment our emotions are high and that leaves plenty of room for bickering and fighting. Don't let your sailor leave on a sour note. Even though it seems easier to let them go when you are mad. It isn't. Make sure that your last bit of time is healthy and fun. Enjoy each other because in a few weeks you will be looking back and thinking "Why did I waste that time?".
Keeping track of time
Keep track of Daddy's remaining time away -- in a fun way. Start making paper chains for yours kids and the nice thing about paper chains is that you can add or subtract links if the ship's schedule changes -- unlike a circled date on a calendar. (This is even
something you can do together if and when
your child ends up in your bed.)
Direct Deposit
Consider signing up for direct deposit (if you haven't already done so). Direct transfer of money into your account can speed up your ability to cover bills.
Ingredients for Care Packages
Since our sailors are away from home so often and for so long, care packages are a great way to remind them of how much you love them while they are gone. Try to put in non-perishables, things that would make the mailing process without breaking, crumbling, spoiling, etc. Letters, stamps, pictures, tape recordings of you or your kids are great additions to care packages.
Family Gram Guidelines
Family Grams must be signed and have a clear meaning with no riddles or risque phrases. They are reviewed to ensure proper usage. Birth and death information is sent by Red Cross or special message not by Family Grams.
Pack A Little Extra
Always keep in mind that if you are sending regular care packages to your loved one that he/she is a VERY popular person when mail call comes and they have a box! So it's always a good idea to pack a little extra so that they can share.
Prepare Before They Leave
Make sure before deployments and long patrols that you have all of the files, paperwork and documents you will need or possibly need while he is away. A Power of Attorney is not a bad idea either. You can get them free from Navy Legal office on base.
Special Food Treats
Some of the things that are sure fire winners in a care package: crackers, summer sausages (either pre-paked in plastic or canned), spray cheese, packets of pre-sweetened kool aid/gatorade ... they hold up well through shipping and offer a variety for your loved one.
Handling deployments
Extended seperations can be very difficult. Sometimes the trouble can begin even before your spouse leaves. You may be feeling angry, even though you know he has no choice, and this can lead to arguements over trivial matters. You may also be feeling nervous -- suddenly the entire burden of running a household falls on your shoulders. This can be even more difficult if you have children to care for and little outside support in the form of family or friends. The first thing to realize is that feelings of sadness or resentment are normal and you should try to talk about it with your spouse. He is probably feeling many of the same things.
On the safe side
Make sure you and an additional family member have the command's complete official mailing address, sailor's Social Security Number, and Navy Ombudsman's telephone number.
Be Realistic About Homecoming
We all have those Fantasy Island moments where we imagine our spouses come running down the pier to greet us and the rest of the crowd disappears. But be realistic. The perfect reunion fantasy is just that - a fantasy. If it can go wrong it will, so just take it in stride and be grateful that your sailor is home!!
Duty Day
It has to be someone and one day it may be you and your sailor having to face the big homecoming day with his having duty. If that happens it is best to just let it happen and not try to get out of it (unless it is an emergency) and make the best of it, take your sailor dinner from his favorite fast food place. It is hard to have to know they are home from that long stretch but you still can't be with them ... but it is something Navy Wives have to live with some times.
Stress on the Kids
Realize that kids react to change. They may act up more or do annoying things to get the returning parent's attention. Take it easy on discipline as their acting up is often the only way they know how to deal with the stress of change
Financial Limits
Plan before the deployment for your family's finances while you are seperated. Determine what amounts will be spent in each port for your sailor. Unless an emergency arises, stick to the plan. Think about a seperate account for the deployment so you each are not trying to spend the same money and find that you are short on cash at the end of the month.
Share Your Feelings
It's natural to have mixed emotions at this time - excitement and happiness together with nervousness and insecurity. Telling your children how you feel helps them recognize and express what they are feeling.
Preparing for Deployment
Attend any pre-deployment briefings that are set-up particularly for family members. Here you will get more info on resources that you may need while he is away. Most important is knowing who the point of contact is in case you need to contact your spouse in an emergency.
Vehicle Repair
Make certain you have the name of a trusted mechanic or automotive garage where you or a friend have taken a car for service. Repair costs can mount rapidly if you simply select a repair shop out of the phone book.
Family Grams
Family Grams are short messages sent to the deployed submarine from family members transmitted via Navy communications. They are limited to 8 per sailor per deployment. They must be concise under 50 words, have clear meaning with no riddles or risque phrases.
Getting Out
Get a sitter at least once every two weeks -- and go to a movie, dinner, the store, the Library -- anywhere but home.
Make New Friends
Try to make friends with the other spouses in your unit also going through the same deployment. Become active on base, in your church or community, do volunteer work. Invest lots of time in your children. Go to museums, parks, dinner out once a week (even if it is just a picnic). If you are not near any military folks, use your computer to reach out and make keypals, and go to the military chats.
Picture Ideas
Take pictures of you doing really ordinary things that will make your sailor think of all the little things that are so nice about being together. Even stuff like brushing your teeth is good.
Back up Travel Plans
If you plan on travelling to a port of call remember that ship schedules change frequently and sometimes with little notice. Watch for restrictions when making plans with travel agencies. Price may not be as important as restriction on travel. Keep a file of all meetings and phone calls with agencies. Try to aim for open ended tickets so that if your plans change it can be easier to fix.
Holiday Care Packages
If you are depending on the mail to get your package to your sailor in time for a birthday, anniversary or other holiday take into account their ship may not be in a port and it is better to get your package out early rather than late.
Home Repair
Know what to do or who to call if something in your home breaks down. Untested plumbing, roofing, or repair contractors can be very costly.
Care Package ideas
Good items for care packages can also be the comforts of home ... soft toilet tissue is a hard to come by commodity underway. Their favorite magazines. Handi-wipes, shampoo, soap, razors. Sometimes a visit to the store just isn't possible and your sailor will appreciate the necessities more than you realize.
Kids and Nightmares
Keep in mind that the kids will get upset while Daddy's gone. So, expect a few nightmares. Kids will usually end up in your bed at least once a week while their daddy is gone.
Plan Little
Keeping planned activites to a minimum can help everyone avoid unnecessary stress.
Stay Flexible
Remember that emotions are intense, children are overstimulated, and Navy schedules are unpredictible at best. When your big day comes, just take it easy and enjoy it. You will have to learn to go with the flow or it will burn you out.
Travel Plans
If you plan on travelling to a port of call, provide your Ombudsman with your itinerary. After a list of names is consolidated, it will be forwarded to the ship.
eMail to ships
Email continues to become more available and reliable. You should be able to send many short emails to the ship to keep your sailor informed and up to date, but the possibility exists that some may not be received. In order to best ensure than an individual message is delivered, it should be limited in length (15kb) and have no attachments. You may want to serialize your messages so that the service member will know if one was missed.
Get The Kids Involved
Include the kids in homecoming plans. Ask for their ideas on such things as activities and decorating. Plan time together as a family, with opportunities for the returning parent to become reacquainted with each child individually.
Navy Relief
Find out about the services that are available to your family through the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and Family Service Centers. Also look into the services provided by the American Red Cross in case of an emergency that involves you or a family member. You may never need these services but just knowing they are available will put you and your spouses mind at ease.
Moving during deployments
If a move is expected during deployment, discuss the process for moving your household goods.
Kids Routines
Sit down and let your spouse know your kids routines, as they have been gone for awhile and things probably changed while they were away. This helps keep the kids from playing on parent against the other. Also helps the parent who was away to ease back into being the parent again.
Halfway Night
"Halfway" marks the midpoint of a deployment. Generally the crew and the family members at home will hold special events to celebrate being on the homeward stretch.
Every Day Images
Take a couple of rolls of film of your spouse and your children, over the course of a few days. For instance, brushing teeth, making pancakes, playing in the sprinkler, reading a book. Then, make up little books, one for your spouse, and one for each of your children, so that they can keep each other near while the parent is gone.
Certificates
Get access to a cool graphics program and scanner, and make an official certificate saying "World's Best Husband/Boyfriend" *etc*, with your sailor's picture on it.
Keep a Journal
When my husband is gone I like to write in a journal for him. I write about daily events and thoughts. I try to keep it light and fun so I don't become sad in the process. Sometimes he reads it when he is home, sometimes I mail them to him. It is a good way to keep him close even while he is so far away.
Obvious Additions to Care Packages
Some of the more obvious treats for a care package may include:cookies, newspapers, magazines, recorded letters, pictures, fudge, jokes, brownies, puzzles and love letters.
Get to know each other again
Take the time to get to know each other again, as a family and as a couple. Do something as a family like a picnic or playing a game at home. As a couple, have a romantic night out. Don't get upset if things don't go the way you expect, remember you have changed as well as your spouse. In time things work out!!
Get Papers in Order
Make sure you get your wills in order. Make sure they are updated and say what you want. Also make sure you get a power of attorney, just in case anything should come up that only the spouse can handle, this way you can handle it for them.
Halloween Care Packages
Some fun and inexpensive ideas for a Halloween care package.
1. Lots of Candy (pack plenty for your sailor to share)
2. Decorations for barracks or offices: door covers, streamers, cob webs, plastic spiders, etc.
(may be too much if they are deployed)
3. Make up kits! Don't forget the fake teeth, blood, sores and chopped off fingers for those practical jokes.
4. Colored pictures courtesy of your children for mom or dad to hang up in their office or their room.
5. Dress up the kids early for a "dry run" of their costume, video tape it or take pictures and send them off to mom or dad so they will know what the kids will look like on Halloween.
Set Mini Goals
Long deployments can seem to go by a little faster if you set smaller goals .. instead of saying he will be home in 180 days ... say only 20 days until Columbus Day, only 4 weeks until school starts, only 3 months until Grandma visits ... and so on ... it gives you more to look forward to and takes you mind off of how much longer it will be until you see him again.
Port Calls
When your sailor has stories from overseas ports, realize that while the port calls can be a highlight, they are a very very small part of deployment. It is easy to get upset and have those thoughts that they had a blast while you were home alone. Just remember life at sea can be difficult and challenging, and chances are if you missed him, he missed you more. Be careful not to get caught in the "Who Had It Worse" game.
Emergency Plans
Someone other that you should have contact information for your sailor in case of an emergency. Provide a family member or trusted friend / neighbor with the following information about the activie duty member:
Name:
Rate / Rank:
Command Address:
Ship Name / Hull Number:
Phone List
Print out a list of important phone numbers for both you and your sailor. Yours should have local support numbers: Ombudsman, Family Service Center, Chaplain, Navy-Marine Corp Relief, Red Cross, Command, Careline, Medical Service Center etc. Your sailors' should have important numbers like: your home phone, your parents, his parents, your work / school number, your ombudsman, a friend or neighbor. Any number they may need to get in contact with you during a deployment.
Memory Book
Try making a scrapbook that highlights your lives together. Use photos, ticket stubs, personal items and other items symbolic of special events, places and times you spent together.
Vehicle Records
Be sure to keep a record (the refrigerator is a good place) of the correct type of battery, tires, oil, etc., for the car.
Romance Abroad
A key strategy in keeping the romance alive is NOT TO BECOME STRANGERS. During the deployment, make sure to correspond with each other. Try to surprise your partner with unexpected romantic sentiments.
SGLI / Page 2
Before your sailor deploys make sure they verify and update their Service Record Page 2 and SGLI (Service Members Group Life Insurance) with their command.
Credit Cards
Set credit card limits for you and your spouse. Limits will help prevent you both from adding to your credit card debt (if you have any). Also decide who will be using which cards during your spouse's deployment.
Lock of Your Hair
Send a lock of your hair, esp. if it's in a plastic envelope that they can carry in their wallet.
Baby Wipes
A great thing to pack for our sailors are those handi wipes pre-moistened towelettes. As any sailor can tell you weeks in the heat on board with 100 - 1000+ people with only a few showers isn't a pretty picture. These towelettes offer a "refresher" on board ship. You can even save money by making your own.
Baby Wipes
Store-bought wipes are quite costly, especially considering this is an on-going need for the first couple years of your child's life.
1 roll of Bounty, cut in half
1 tbls baby oil
2 cups warm water
12 cup Tupperware container w/lid
1 tbls baby wash
Just put the Bounty halves into the Tupperware container. Mix liquid, pour over Bounty and just let soak. Pull the wipes from the center. They are very moist, work well, and are inexpensive.
One Months Pay
Try to save at least one month's pay in a savings account to use in case of emergency. This can prevent you from having to use high-interest credit cards to handle unforeseen expenditures.
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| Heidi Splete |
